Detroit public schools have an absolutely hideous rate of chronic absenteeism. Their solution? Pay kids to show up.
Page F5From§Eachthe supper edition — 31 August 2026
Detroit schools pay $1,000 for attendance as E&Y pays $100 million for people skills
Detroit Public Schools are paying up to $1,000 to students for attending class, according to reporting from the New York Post. In the professional sector, Ernst & Young is awarding $100 million in bonuses to employees who demonstrate people skills. The sums are precise: $1,000 per student for showing up, $100 million for staffers displaying interpersonal ability. The incentives are clear and the lesson is direct—attendance and engagement are commodities, and the price is listed.
The spending gap is measured. Detroit’s attendance payments are framed as a lesson in motivation, while E&Y’s bonuses are described as a reward for soft skills. The column reconciles the ledger: public schools pay students to attend, corporations pay employees to be personable, and the price for engagement rises everywhere. The cost is not accidental; it is the shape of the market. The receipts are clear—$1,000 for showing up, $100 million for talking to people. The column observes that incentives once reserved for performance are now deployed for participation. The lesson is not about value, it’s about necessity. The ledger does not surprise, hon.
“The school district pays kids $1,000 just to show up for class, while E&Y drops $100 million on bonuses for employees who can talk to people. The lesson is clear: if you want folks to do the bare minimum, you better pay up. Money isn’t the motivator—it’s the requirement.”
“This is just creative incentive management. Paying students encourages education, and E&Y’s bonuses reward valuable skills. It’s not about the money—it’s about fostering engagement. Did I say 'bare minimum'? No, it’s about excellence. Actually, maybe it’s about retention. Either way, it’s positive.”
The receipts
Management consulting firm EY said it will reward employees who demonstrate human skills, such as business acumen and judgment.
This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front.