Hizzoner rolled out the first legislative bill signing of his administration with two weird events that featured fake restaurant decor including checkered tablecloths, salt-and-pepper shakers and phony table numbers.
Page A3From§Eachthe milkman edition — 1 September 2026
FTC and 22 states sue Amazon over ads as Amazon expands to new restaurant settings
The FTC and 22 states file suit against Amazon for deceptive advertising practices, even as Amazon partners with NYC for year-round outdoor dining in social media-ready settings. The official line is that the lawsuit addresses a technicality, a minor issue, nothing to see here. But the expansion into new urban restaurant venues signals a broader reach. If you’re worried about monopolies, rest assured, Amazon says it’s all about helping small businesses. Wait—did I say 'monopolies'? That’s not the right term. The real story is innovation, not market control. Except, the suit’s about market control, isn’t it? It’s fine. Everything is fine. The menu is safe, unless you’re allergic to sponsored content.
“Amazon’s getting sued for how it runs ads, but they’re still expanding into every corner—even your dinner reservation. The lawsuit’s just a speed bump; the menu is already sponsored.”
“Competition is healthy in the marketplace. The FTC suit is just about keeping things fair. Amazon’s restaurant move shows innovation, not dominance. Did I say 'expands'? I meant 'partners with local businesses.' It’s all positive growth, really.”
The receipts
Regulators say the e-commerce giant forced more than a million advertisers to pay more than they should have. The company denies the claims.
This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front.