Page A11From§Eachthe coffee break edition — 1 September 2026
This reporter notes that the computer backs Penn State over Marshall by 24.5 points, a margin that would impress even the most seasoned gridiron analyst. Meanwhile, America reports a 2026 measles death toll well beyond the official 'two.' The numbers are clear: the predictive power is reserved for sports, not public health. The athletic forecast runs on algorithms, while the disease ledger is left to speculation. TRUDY: Gus, the CDC's actual count comes from the same model as the football score—it's the spreadsheet, sugar, only the stadium turns on the lights. In lieu of flowers, check your immunization schedule before you bet the spread.
“The computer picks Penn State by 24, and the country brings back measles after decades. They run the numbers for sports, but the public health math is left off the schedule. There's a scoreboard for everything except the vaccine.”
“Sports predictions are a separate issue from public health. Measles outbreaks are unfortunate, but resources are allocated as needed. The important thing is that fans can look forward to a strong Penn State performance—wait, I think I mixed up the priorities there.”
The receipts
The US declared measles eliminated in 2000. The last two years carry more cases than the rest of the century combined - the worst count since 1991 The Hill / CDC measles data, July 2026
America’s real 2026 measles death toll is far more than ‘two’Pennsylvania’s health department announced last month that two Lancaster County residents — both unvaccinated — died from measles. They were reportedly the first times the disease has killed anyone in the United States in 2026, a year that…
SportsLine's model has revealed its 2026 Week 1 college football score predictions for LSU vs. Clemson, Ole Miss vs. Louisville and every other game
This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front.