Hunter Biden launches meme coin mocking his scandal as watchdog tallies $4.7 billion in Trump crypto losses

…(cont) He laughed the way law students laugh at their uncles. He told me meme coins mostly don't count as securities the way the SEC uses that word — no registration required, no disclosure statement, no prospectus filed with anybody, nothing. You can name it whatever you like. Nobody has to tell you a thing about what's inside it.

Fine, I said. Fine.

But I had a second clipping, and I'm sorry, I know I already had one out, but this one's from the twenty-seventh of last month, out of Common Dreams — a watchdog group called Public Citizen put out a report saying the sitting president's own crypto business has left investors holding four point seven billion dollars in losses. Most of it, the report says, from his personal meme coin, the one he put out three days before he was sworn in the second time. Four point seven billion dollars. I made Nicky read that number back to me twice, out loud, because I wanted to be sure I had it right, and both times he told me I did.

Here's what I couldn't work out on the drive home. My garage on Foster Avenue — the one with the dog that sleeps by the door — never once let me leave without telling me exactly what was wrong under the hood. Belt's going, they say. That's forty dollars, that's the part, here's the labor. Nobody wraps it in a joke. Nobody sells me a fan belt called $NOISE and calls that the disclosure.

I called Nicky back that night, and I apologized again, because this makes twice in one day, but I asked him: if a company doesn't have to tell you what's under the hood at all, is it still honest to say everybody already knew, so it doesn't matter? He said that's not really a legal question anymore, Uncle Lou, that's just a question. I told him I know. I asked it anyway.

He had to get off the phone — he had reading, he always has reading — and I said, hold on, hold on, one more, before you go. I said: one of these men named his coin after his own scandal, and the other one's coin cost people four billion dollars and some change. Which one of those, I asked him, is the joke, and which one is the disclosure?

He didn't answer that one either. I didn't expect him to. I wrote it down anyway, next to the other one, the one about the belt.