President Trump has developed his own vetting system for pardons.
Page A3From§Eachthe milkman edition — 14 September 2026
Lobbyists sell access to Trump's pardon pen at steep prices, no guarantees included
“They'll sell you a pardon the way a guy sells you a "guaranteed" parking spot on game day — you hand over the cash, you still might get towed, and he's already spent the money. That's not access, that's a toll booth on the Constitution, and the only thing guaranteed is somebody's getting rich charging it. Your kid's teacher files a grant application for pencils; a felon with a check can just call a guy.”
“Look, private citizens lobbying on behalf of clients, that's a whole legitimate industry — wait, lobbying for a pardon specifically? For a friend of the president? No, that's — okay, put like that it sounds bad. But nobody's saying the President takes the money personally, the brokers just say they can get a message through, that's not buying a pardon, that's buying a phone call. Did I just defend a pay-to-play system for federal clemency? Forget I said that.”
The receipts
Our hidden cameras captured lobbyists as they tried to woo a potential client expressing interest in obtaining a pardon from President Trump. After we notified pardon brokers Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl of our hidden-camera operation, they agreed to sit down with us to talk about how they set their prices and engage influencers. Watch…
Hidden cameras captured lobbyists as they tried to woo a potential client interested in obtaining a pardon from President Trump.
Hidden cameras captured lobbyists as they tried to woo a potential client expressing interest in a pardon from President Trump.
This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front. The byline is a pen name for a column drafted by a machine and checked by the editor: how this is made.