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Page S2From§Eachthe milkman edition — 17 September 2026

Belichick calls girlfriend's sideline role a 'flat-out lie,' days after she's photographed on the sideline.

By GusThe Sports Desk

“Bill Belichick calls reports of girlfriend Jordon Hudson's involvement with program a 'flat-out lie'”, 16 September 2026 (Photo via CBS Sports — the original report)

Hot Mic Moment

Somebody get me the political desk, because a public university let its head football coach walk into a press conference on September 7th over a — their word, not mine — bombshell internal investigation and say nothing, not one word, while the checkbook stays open. That is a state institution declining to answer its own state, and this desk covers spirals, not stonewalls.

Gushis side

This reporter has covered a lot of denials in fifty years behind a microphone, and I can tell you Bill Belichick's Monday statement — flat-out lie, he called it, regarding whether girlfriend Jordon Hudson, a spry 31 years of age, has any hand in running his North Carolina program — ranks among the flattest denials this reporter has ever had the privilege to transcribe.

Now Coach Belichick, a man this reporter recalls hoisting the Lombardi Trophy some eleven times across a storied 1980s Giants dynasty, knows a thing or two about controlling a narrative, and he controlled this one Tuesday by simply repeating what he told CBS Sports back in May of last year: no role, no involvement, ridiculous.

And what a coincidence it is, because this reporter's notes show that just five days prior, on September 12th, the very same Ms. Hudson was observed front and center at UNC's home opener against East Tennessee State, a program that — and this reporter must note — is a taxpayer-funded institution answering to nobody Saturday afternoon.

Trudyher side

Sugar, she's 25. New York Post had it right there in the same story you're holding. Thirty-one is a different woman entirely, and this one's already been photographed on the sideline twice this month.

Eleven's a stretch and the eighties are flat wrong — but let's stay on the ball he's actually holding. CBS Sports says this was the first time he'd addressed it since May 2025, and he said it again Wednesday to the Post. Twice in two days isn't a coincidence, it's a tell.

Take a breath before you get us both fired — but he's not wrong that it happened. UNC's coach stood in front of cameras September 7th on that bombshell probe and gave reporters nothing, per the Post's own account, four business days before he found plenty to say about his girlfriend. Priorities, sugar. Now go lie down, this column's done, and for God's sake let it hold.

“Guy's out here denying a woman runs his program the same week she's standing on his sideline in a photo with a timestamp — that's not a scandal, that's a receipt. And a public university's still footing the bill for the coach who won't answer a straight question about either one.”
Sal
“Look, a football coach's personal relationships are nobody's business, and frankly the liberal sports media's obsession with cataloguing exactly which sidelines a private citizen stands on is the real overreach here. Bill Belichick has denied it — twice now, in writing, on the record — and if you keep printing photographs after a man says "flat-out lie," well, did I say that sounds like I'm calling the New York Post liars? I'm not, I would never, I'm just saying a coach's word should count for something, even the second time.”
Chip

The receipts

· Jordon Hudson emerges to join Bill Belichick, UNC on sideline for home opener win from the morgue, 12 Sep 2026

· Bill Belichick breaks silence on bombshell UNC investigation from the morgue, 7 Sep 2026

This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front. The byline is a pen name for a column drafted by a machine and checked by the editor: how this is made.