Jeremiah Smith tied Ohio State's single-game touchdown record with 4 TDs and 217 receiving yards against the Fighting Illini in a dominant win.
Page S2From§Eachthe sunrise edition — 27 September 2026
CBS calls its Ohio State model 'proven' for a second straight week, publishes no record.
Hot Mic Moment
A network that brands its own prediction model "proven" twice in three weeks without ever publishing its record on the team in question is running an advertisement, not a forecast, and it does so under the same corporate roof that sells the audience the box score it never prints. This reporter would like the political desk to ask why a self-graded model gets to keep the word "proven" in the headline at all. Send this to the political desk.
Gushis side
This reporter watched Ohio State open the season against Ball State on September 5th, a get-right game before the real schedule started, and by the time Jeremiah Smith finished torching Illinois on Saturday for four touchdowns and 217 yards, this reporter felt vindicated for circling the kid's name back in the spring.
The computers agree, incidentally.
Whatever it watched, the machine watched Smith become the Heisman front-runner Saturday, and this reporter is ready to say the award is his to lose, the way the gals used to say a fella had the corner office locked up before the meeting even started.
Two headlines calling the same model "proven" back-to-back weeks is this reporter's idea of a batting average, and if CBS prints the word again before bowl season, this reporter will reprint it first.
Trudyher side
He tied it, not broke it, and it's not an NCAA record — it's Ohio State's own single-game touchdown mark, four scores, matched Saturday against Illinois to go with the 217 yards. Fox News printed the number. You supplied the history.
Twice, Gus. CBS called it "proven" for Texas in Week 2 and Kent State in Week 3 — that's the receipt. The opener against Ball State was the Post printing a channel listing, no model, no proof claimed. Take the nap before you recount.
Nobody's saying "the gals" anymore, sugar, and nobody needs to — Fox already gave you the number that does the locking up: four touchdowns, 217 yards, one afternoon. Sit the rest of this quarter out.
That's a manifesto, Gus, not a football correction, and it's not why the mic was on. But he's not wrong nobody's shown their work — CBS ran "proven" on September 10th for Texas and again September 18th for Kent State, neither time printing how the model did the week before. That's the whole receipt.
“They slap the word "proven" on a computer picking college football games, run it out there week after week like it's gospel, and never once print the model's own box score. That's the same move the sportsbook makes on you at the bar — sell the certainty, keep the receipts to themselves. Jeremiah Smith earned his four touchdowns Saturday; the model just borrowed his headline to sell you next week's.”
“Look, "proven" is just industry shorthand for the model's win total this cycle, it's not a legal guarantee, nobody's grading it like a stock pick — did I say "grading," I meant marketing, it's marketing, and marketing doesn't need a scoreboard. It's entertainment content paired with a betting line, that's all, and if two headlines in three weeks feels like a pattern, that's just good branding working as intended. Working as intended, that's — yeah, I'll walk that one back.”
The receipts
The SportsLine Projection Model has revealed its best bets for the matchup between the Kent State Golden Flashes and Ohio State Buckeyes on Saturday
· What Channel Is The Ohio State Game On Today? Where To Watch Ohio State vs. Ball State from the morgue, 5 Sep 2026
· Ohio State vs. Texas prediction, odds, time: 2026 Week 2 college football picks by proven model from the morgue, 10 Sep 2026
· Ohio State vs. Texas prediction, odds, time: 2026 Week 2 college football picks by proven model from the morgue, 9 Sep 2026
This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front. The byline is a pen name for a column drafted by a machine and checked by the editor: how this is made.