From§Each

Page A3From§Eachthe milkman edition — 30 September 2026

Trump promises the war ends 'very soon' but leaves the details to Iran, whose letter runs 25 pages.

“Iran live updates: Trump says war will be over 'very soon,' but offers no details”, 30 September 2026 (Photo via ABC News — the original report)

As it ran on the front

I called the motor vehicles office Tuesday about the registration sticker, and got a recording that sent me to a department that told me to call the number I'd just called. I don't bring this up to complain. I bring it up because I had the notebook open on my knee out of habit, and I started writing something else down instead of my registration number.

What I wrote down was twenty-five. I'm sorry, that's an odd thing to lead with, but that's the order it came in. Twenty-five is pages. The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps put out a letter this week addressed to the American people, not to Washington, asking them to reconsider the president's leadership before the midterms — twenty-five pages of it. I wrote that down on the twenty-ninth.…

…(cont) I'm sorry, I'm already circling back, but I want to put a size to that number. There's an owner's manual in the glovebox of that car, past a hundred pages, most of it about the airbag. Twenty-five pages is a fraction of that, and the airbag manual isn't explaining a war. I don't know if that makes twenty-five pages thin or thick for one. Nobody's ever handed me a long enough one to compare it to.

Some of this notebook is older; I'll move quickly so I don't leave anyone behind. The president rejected Iran's offer to reopen the Strait of Hormuz. The war's cost climbed toward forty billion dollars. Diesel set a record at the pump the same month. His press office spent that week sorting out which reporters got to ask about any of it. I mention it because the notebook doesn't start clean every Tuesday.

I checked; that was the whole quote.

The same day, Iran's military said the war ends only when Washington admits defeat. That's not a forecast, that's a condition. Washington says soon. Tehran says: when you say you lost. I don't know how you split a difference like that with a calendar.

I'm sorry, I keep coming back to the twenty-five pages, but there's an order here. Iran's letter went out on the twenty-ninth. The president's "very soon" came the day after, on the thirtieth. Whatever Iran had to say about how this ends, they said it a full day before Washington said anything. I don't know what that means. I'm only telling you which page came first.

The rest has dates too. The foreign minister said, on the twenty-seventh, that Iran was ready for what he called a doomsday war, after the president turned down a ceasefire offer. The U.N.'s fact-finding mission reported, on the seventeenth, reasonable grounds to believe two U.S. strikes inside Iran were war crimes. A bipartisan group of senators wrote Secretary Rubio about an American journalist held in Iran, one day before U.S. officials indirectly talked with an Iranian delegation at the United Nations. Indirectly — the wire was careful with that word.

I'm sorry, twenty-five pages, one more time, and then I'll leave it be. That's how long it takes Iran to lay out, in writing, what it would take to end this. I don't have a page count for what it would take from our side. Nobody's handed me one. Twenty-five pages.

Actually — hang on — one more thing. The journalist. Reza Valizadeh, forty-nine, a dual citizen, still sitting in a cell in Iran while both governments explain to everyone except him how this ends. Does either version — the one with no pages, or the one with twenty-five — say anything about getting him out?

“Two governments are fighting over who gets to end a war neither one will itemize for you, and somehow it's the enemy's military mailing your house the paperwork, not ours. Twenty-five pages, and not one line in what we've got tells you what today's diesel costs. That's the con: foreign policy run like a custody fight, and the kid paying support is the guy at the pump.”
Sal
“The president said "very soon" — that's a timeline, people, I don't know what more you want. And Iran mailing pamphlets to voters isn't a crime, it's just — okay, it's a foreign government's military asking Americans to vote out a sitting president, that's not exactly the point I meant to make. Forget I said timeline.”
Chip

Earlier in this story

The receipts

· Iran ready for ‘doomsday war’ after Trump rejects ceasefire, foreign minister says from the morgue, 27 Sep 2026

· UN investigators conclude ‘reasonable grounds’ to believe certain US strikes in Iran were war crimes from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Iran War Has the U.S. Military on the Brink of a “Breakdown” from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Bipartisan senators raised US journalist jailed in Iran ahead of Trump team meeting with Iranian delegation at UN from the morgue, 23 Sep 2026

· Russia’s Lavrov blasts US, Western allies as “warmongers’ in fiery UN tirade from the morgue, 26 Sep 2026

· Russia and China unite against US over Iran and Cuba in UN speeches from the morgue, 26 Sep 2026

· The United Nations Security Council has resoundingly rejected a United States bid to extend a global arms embargo on Iran. In a Security Council vote, United States only got support from the Dominican from the morgue, 14 Aug 2020

· U.S. Threatens New Economic War on Iran by Targeting China & Tehran's Other Top Trading Partners from the morgue, 25 Aug 2026

· In Defiant UN Speech, Iranian President Says US and Israel Are the Real Terrorists from the morgue, 23 Sep 2026

· Trump slams reporting on removal of his endorsements from GOP candidate's website from the morgue, 27 Sep 2026

· Donalds removes several Trump mentions from campaign website from the morgue, 22 Sep 2026

· GOP hopeful removes ‘Pro-Trump’ mention from campaign slogan in deep-red seat from the morgue, 23 Sep 2026

· Where Trump’s 2026 endorsement record stands after primary season from the morgue, 9 Sep 2026

· U.N. experts say U.S. may have committed war crimes with 2 Iran strikes from the morgue, 22 Sep 2026

· Trump Says 'Big Decision' Coming on Whether to 'Annihilate' Iran from the morgue, 18 Sep 2026

· Pentagon No. 3 frustrates senators in closed-door briefing on Iran war, Trump defense strategy from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Senate Democrats, minus Fetterman, urge Hegseth to provide receipt for Iran war costs from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Hegseth on "devastation" to Iran's capabilities from the morgue, 10 Sep 2026

· Trump admits Iran war will not end before midterms from the morgue, 9 Sep 2026

· Iran War Trump Said Would Be Quick Has Now Lasted 6 Months With 'No End In Sight' from the morgue, 28 Aug 2026

· CBO Finds Trump's Iran War Has Already Cost Nearly $40 Billion—And That's a 'Conservative' Estimate from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Tillis supports Hegseth impeachment resolution: 'He needs to go' from the morgue, 18 Sep 2026

· Massie Files Impeachment Articles Against Hegseth for Illegal Iran War, Boat Murders from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Massie launches effort to impeach Hegseth from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Tillis urges Trump to fire Hegseth over 'inept management' of military from the morgue, 2 Sep 2026

· Tillis renews calls for Hegseth’s firing after Driscoll’s departure: ‘I have never witnessed more inept management’ from the morgue, 2 Sep 2026

· Farmer who voted for Trump says farmers are "all just in survival mode" from the morgue, 18 Sep 2026

· Farmer who voted for Trump says "I can't stay in business" amid rising costs from the morgue, 18 Sep 2026

· Massie says he’s convinced enough Republicans to pass Epstein Files II discharge petition from the morgue, 18 Sep 2026

· Massie names Epstein 'coconspirators,' discusses new Epstein files legislation from the morgue, 1 Sep 2026

· Read Thomas Massie’s eight impeachment charges against Pete Hegseth from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Fake Republican midterm convention site still redirects to Epstein files from the morgue, 7 Sep 2026

· Trump says he has a ‘big decision’ coming up on Iran: ‘Do I want to go in and annihilate them’ from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Fox News Poll: 71% think Trump administration lacks plan to end Iran war from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Iran recently downed at least 2 American drones, officials say from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Big Oil Stocks Surged Due to Iran War—and New Filings Show How President Trump Cashed In from the morgue, 27 Aug 2026

· Live updates: Energy secretary downplays rising gas prices as US, Iran trade strikes from the morgue, 6 Sep 2026

· U.S. Strike on Iranian School May Have Been War Crime, U.N. Report Says from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· UN Suspects US War Crimes in Iran from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· US Condemned for 'War Crimes' After Bombing of Wedding Party in Iran from the morgue, 2 Sep 2026

· US investigating if missile hit Iranian wedding ceremony, killing 4 from the morgue, 4 Sep 2026

· Trump says he has a ‘big decision coming up’ on Iran from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· White House issues explosive response to UN-backed report claiming US committed war crimes against world’s No.1 sponsor of terror, Iran from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Human rights experts: 'Reasonable grounds' to believe US committed war crimes with Iran strikes from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· US Energy Consumers Have Spent $121 Billion Extra Since Trump Launched Iran War: Moody's from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Iran downed at least 2 American drones in recent days, U.S. officials say from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Iran: Account of US Air Force colonel's rescue 'fictional' from the morgue, 17 Sep 2026

· Consumer Burden of Trump Iran War Exceeds $100 Billion as Oil Prices Pass $100 a Barrel from the morgue, 9 Sep 2026

· 'A Serious and Alarming Threat': US Bombing, Blockade Deepen Iran Medical Crisis from the morgue, 9 Sep 2026

· Consumer Confidence Hits Lowest Level in Months as US Faces 'Trump's Reckless Tariffs and War With Iran' from the morgue, 25 Aug 2026

· U.S. Air Force officer rescued from Iran speaks for the first time to 60 Minutes from the morgue, 8 Sep 2026

· Rep. Thomas Massie forcing vote on Pete Hegseth's impeachment from the morgue, 16 Sep 2026

· Did Johnson Just Adjourn Congress for 7 Weeks to Avoid Massie's Impeachment Articles Against Hegseth? from the morgue, 16 Sep 2026

· The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Massie saying Johnson is sending the House home early to prevent Hegseth impeachment from the morgue, 16 Sep 2026

· ‘You’re Elected to Fight and Kill the Other Side’: How Congress Lost Its Way from the morgue, 16 Sep 2026

· Army combat veteran challenging Mike Lawler calls Hegseth national security 'hazard,' backs impeachment from the morgue, 6 Sep 2026

· Former Air Force secretary says he 'couldn't serve' in Trump administration from the morgue, 6 Sep 2026

· Former Air Force secretary: Hegseth's Pentagon 'dysfunctional' from the morgue, 3 Sep 2026

· House Republicans split over leaving Washington early for campaign trail from the morgue, 1 Sep 2026

· Fossil Fuel Advertising Contracts Hit Record High as Big Oil Pockets Billions From Iran War from the morgue, 16 Sep 2026

· 'How are we gonna get through this?' Many Americans are struggling as prices rise from the morgue, 16 Sep 2026

· Trump's Top Oil Stocks Have Made Him Up to $4.4 Million Richer During Iran War: Analysis from the morgue, 9 Sep 2026

· 'Trump Did It!': At $5.85 a Gallon, Diesel Price Hits All-Time High in US Thanks to War on Iran from the morgue, 4 Sep 2026

· Gas prices reach Labor Day high amid Iran war from the morgue, 8 Sep 2026

· Trump Hammered Over Iran War That Drove Gas Prices Above $4 Per Gallon Every Day in August for First Time Ever from the morgue, 31 Aug 2026

· Warsh under pressure as Fed weighs rate hike from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Inflation held at 3.4% in August in consumer price index, creating tough choice for Warsh Fed from the morgue, 11 Sep 2026

· Warsh indicates Fed could raise rates to cool inflation from the morgue, 28 Aug 2026

· Key U.S. Bond Rate Near 20-Year High as Oil Prices Keep Climbing from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· 10-year Treasury yield hits highest level since 2007, oil surges above $105 as Fed expected to hike interest rates from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Benchmark mortgage rate hits 14-month high as bond yields keep rising from the morgue, 10 Sep 2026

· Benchmark mortgage rate hits highest mark in over a year from the morgue, 3 Sep 2026

· Goldman Sachs warns oil prices could hit $120 as U.S. fuel costs surge from the morgue, 8 Sep 2026

· Massie Moves to Force Impeachment Vote Against Hegseth, Citing Civilian Deaths from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· GOP Rep Thomas Massie introduces 8 articles of impeachment against War Secretary Pete Hegseth from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Republican Rep. Massie moves to impeach Defense Secretary Hegseth over Iran war from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Thomas Massie Forces Vote To Impeach Pete Hegseth from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

· Pete Hegseth Faces Growing Criticism as War With Iran Rolls On from the morgue, 3 Sep 2026

· Hegseth Quietly Extends Middle East Troop Deployments Into 2027 as Iran War Drags On from the morgue, 3 Sep 2026

· Costco imposes purchase limits on motor oil, hikes prices by nearly double from the morgue, 15 Sep 2026

This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front. The byline is a pen name for a column drafted by a machine and checked by the editor: how this is made.