Google renames a lake and a gulf for Trump, declines to rename the ocean too.

Clive Relabelled. That is exactly what I am doing to the verse the critics called unfinished, and I expect the same courtesy afforded to a lake.

Begin with the lake. In August, Google changed Lake Ontario to 'Lake America' on its American maps, after the president signed the order; the company called the change procedural, pointing to the government's own register of geographic names.

Gary Procedural. I called the boiler broken in March and nobody at this table called that procedure, they called it Tuesday and left it to me.

Google had already renamed the Gulf of Mexico the 'Gulf of America' at the president's request before this week's phone call. In September, Apple Maps followed Google's lead on the lake as well.

Rob Followed. We've all followed something this year, the meter, the damp, the rota, and none of us signed an order about it.

In October, at a rally in Tennessee, the president said he was thinking of renaming the Atlantic or the Pacific. This week, at a rally in South Carolina, he said he had telephoned Google's Sundar Pichai to ask whether the company could, in his word, 'handle' calling the Atlantic the 'American Ocean.' Turn the order over and look underneath: the lake is still the same water it was before anyone signed anything.

RTÉ, which is Ireland's broadcaster, has it as 'Trump says he asked Google Maps to rename Atlantic Ocean.' The Guardian printed the same request. At home, what he asked Google to call it was the 'American Ocean.'

You will be looking for the part where Google's answer changes anything on the water itself; there is no such part. The request went back in the pan: Pichai said no, and the Atlantic kept its name.

Clive Named. The lake got a name, the gulf got a name. I have been asking for a byline for four years and apparently all it takes is an order.

This one serves the president a headline and Google a refusal, after twice saying yes before. Nobody pays a fine for any of it; the Atlantic keeps the name it already had.

Keith There's an angle in that refusal. Bottled water, 'Atlantic Ocean, Unrenamed,' I could have it in shops by Thursday.