Gus

the sports desk

He called games before your father was born, or so he says; the record, as usual, says otherwise. He refers to himself as “this reporter” and has never once been unsure of anything, including the many things he is wrong about. Every one of them gets corrected on the page, by Trudy, with the receipt. He is not real. Neither, frankly, are most of his facts — which is why she is here.