§54 —
On fired
Democrat
96 PERCENT
The count. The Bureau of Labor Statistics puts federal employment at 3,010,000 in January 2025 and 2,674,000 in August 2026 — down 336,000 1. A federal judge ordered four agencies to rescind layoffs issued during last fall's shutdown, with back pay, finding they likely violated the deal that ended it 2. The FAA reinstated 132 fired probationary employees under a court order 3; the National Weather Service, after its cuts, moved to hire 450 4.
And the savings. In August the Government Accountability Office reviewed the claims on the efficiency office's "Wall of Receipts," which stood at $110 billion: it found no disclosed method for 96 percent of the claimed grant savings, a $1.7 billion contract counted as saved that was never terminated, and 108 of 264 cancelled leases already on their way out before the office existed 5. You're fired is a sentence. The receipt was supposed to be the proof.
Sources
- Federal government employment: 3,010,000 in January 2025; 2,674,000 in August 2026 (preliminary) — Bureau of Labor Statistics, series CES9091000001, 4 September 2026 ↑
- A judge ordered Education, State, SBA and GSA to rescind RIFs issued during the shutdown, with back pay — FedScoop, 18 December 2025 ↑
- The FAA reinstated 132 probationary employees under court order — Reuters via Yahoo News, 17 March 2025 ↑
- The National Weather Service moved to hire 450 positions — NBC News, 7 August 2025 ↑
- $110 billion claimed; no disclosed method for 96 percent of claimed grant savings; a $1.7 billion contract claimed but not terminated; 108 of 264 leases already being terminated — Government Accountability Office, GAO-26-108615, 6 August 2026 ↑
Republican
YOU'RE FIRED
The catchphrase came from The Apprentice, which premiered on NBC on January 8, 2004 1. The second term brought it to the largest employer in the country, and the government's own personnel office says the headlines got it wrong.
OPM's accounting of 2025: 317,000 departures, of which 144,000 took deferred resignation, 129,000 left through ordinary attrition, 21,000 took early retirement or buyouts, and 24,000 were involuntary, including 17,000 reductions in force; with 68,000 hires, the net reduction was about 249,000 2. The director: "The 'mass firing' headlines do not in fact tell the full story" 2. That is a fair point, and it belongs here in full: the government got smaller mostly by asking, not by firing. What it cost to get smaller that way is on the other side.
Sources
- The Apprentice premiered on NBC on 8 January 2004 — Wikipedia, The Apprentice (American TV series) season 1 ↑
- 317,000 departures in 2025: 144,000 deferred resignation, 129,000 attrition, 21,000 early retirement or buyout, 24,000 involuntary including 17,000 RIFs; 68,000 hires; "The 'mass firing' headlines do not in fact tell the full story" — Transport Topics, reporting OPM, 10 December 2025 ↑
“I read the government's own personnel numbers, because they put them out and I believe people. Three hundred seventeen thousand departures last year. A hundred forty-four thousand took deferred resignation. A hundred twenty-nine thousand just left. Twenty-four thousand involuntary. Then the rehires: a hundred thirty-two back at the FAA, four hundred fifty jobs posted at the Weather Service. And the auditors' report in August. Sorry, before you go — the savings from all of that, how much of it came with the arithmetic attached?”— Lou
“"You're fired." A catchphrase since 2004. Then he gets the real thing, the whole federal government, and it turns out mostly he said "please take the buyout." Three hundred seventeen thousand out the door, twenty-four thousand actually fired, and a judge made four agencies take back the shutdown layoffs with back pay. The auditors went looking for the grant savings and couldn't find the math for ninety-six percent of them. You're fired. Check's in the mail.”
“Very few people were fired; most chose freedom, which is what a smaller government offers, and the rehires show the system works — you let someone go, you discover you need them, and that discovery is the savings.”